Self Actualization

Amazingly, when I went to the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) in Hyde Park we had a class on the Psychology of Management. There I discovered, via the two women who taught the class, Abraham Maslow and the Hierarchy of Needs. It made sense to me in a depth that I think few in my class felt. The entire concept of Self Actualization- in a very simplified form, being the best you you can be and by doing so seeing the world and people around you as distinct and nonthreatening; worthy, in most cases, of compassion- sparked my imagination in such a way that I put together- though I never finished writing down- how one can create a society truly without leaders based on Petr Kropotkin's theories and philosophy. (Too much? Sorry....)

The important part for me, on a daily basis, is Maslow's concept that when one is self actualizing the words play and work become synonymous. For me that is usually true. The handful a times its not its usually because I'm overtired, don't feel good or business is painfully slow. Even obnoxious guests rarely take me out of that headset for more than a few minutes. (I've been known to scream once or twice a year at the top of my lungs loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear, "What the fuck do they think this is? Fucking McDonalds!" Once its out I feel MUCH better. Often I laugh immediately afterwards, but not loud enough for anyone outside of the those in the kitchen to hear.)

I really enjoy what I do! Though running a restaurant in a small town will never make me wealthy and during this recession/depression we sometimes cannot pay ourselves after everyone else has been paid, there is nothing else I'd rather be doing! I'm 57 and don't plan on stopping until at least 75. Why? Because I love it; and men in my family live to an average of 93. Spending all those years retired would bore me. My parents retired at the usual age. In his 70's my dad get a Masters in Neuro-linguistic Programming and began a new career as a Hypnotherapist and my mom went back to work at the clothing store chain she used to work for. My mom is turning 80 and her life would be less fulfilled without her work. My dad, 81, loves teaching meditation and doing hypnotherapy.  He acts in community theater and takes courses at the local community college. They, like my great-grand parents & grandparents did, stay active and involved in life. It keeps them "young" and healthy. For example, my great-grandfather Benny, known as "The Chief," kept his hardware store into his 80's; and even after giving it to his son he still did small projects for poor seniors around his neighborhood for the cost of the materials. He had been a cabinet maker until he began the tiny hardware store as his "retirement". Blue collar working-lower class in the money he made as well as in what he did, his eyes were always alive; and he was the only person I have ever known who completely and truly meant it when he told any of his descendants, "If your happy, I'm happy."  Why would I want to retire early with such examples?

I, like all of my friends at the CIA, went into this business because it is our Art and passion. I've met too many kids who have gone to chef school (many of the new ones that have popped up send out unprepared cooks) convinced that they will make lots of money as the newest sensation. They have no real concept of the hard work, long hours and low pay they will make for years. The debt they carry as chef schools have skyrocketed in price, is ridiculous.And few have the love and passion that it takes to survive in this business, due to the whole concept of the celebrity chef. Less chefs become millionaires than they have been led to believe. The pitfalls of drugs and alcohol are increased for such kids.

Too many people I know who would rather be doing something else with their lives. I'm lucky not to be one of them. For my "retirement" I will grow organic produce and raise animals humanely, as I have done before. On Friday and Saturday nights I will open up my huge dining room table at my home, and by reservation only for a set price, have people dine on the meals made up of the items I grew or barter with other local grows for. And I will continue to strive to self actualize and enjoy life to the fullest- despite being blue collar working-lower class. I wish you all such a good life.